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Instead, I sat beside mylantern, staring off into the darkness beyond and trying not to think ofthe things that might be out there beyond my sight.Some cultures had coming of age traditions where the young men would besent off by themselves to prove their manhood, find their totem animal,or just to meditate. The Sier have such a tradition, though ours is duefor the practical reason that this is a very dangerous time for us andanyone close to us.I didn't have a watch with me but I didn't need one to tell me whenmidnight came. In an instant, I felt something inside me change. Ifelt my Sier nature fully awaken.The world opened up around me in a way I'd never imagined. Instead ofjust seeing spirits, I could sense them as well. When I closed my eyes,I could feel the spirits nearby, even some that were a distance from thephysical plane. And after a short time, I realized that I could feelsome of them coming towards me."It's started," I whispered, trying to control my nerves.When a. Another few days passed. My high dragged on from day to day to day. How I managed to stay working and stay alive was puzzling. I faintly remembered the days that passed by at work where I would continually feign a little smile for my superiors and the smiling customers. But the minute my numb high wore off and I was able to get my hands on more pills, I was off again, diving into the depths of numbness as my painkillers took my pain away for shorter moments each time. Then I needed something more. I needed the pain to go away for good. The side effects of my pill addiction were, in no way, pretty. All of the drugs in combination with my mostly empty stomach and thinning figure created unpleasant conditions for me. No matter how much water I could drink or how much bread and crackers I would eat, the vomiting and acid belches were debilitating at the least. There were some days where my numbness was so widespread that I was too weak to even get out of the bed to vomit. All I was able.
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